Adam Sandler, celebrities, Charlie Chaplin, conspiracy, conspiracy theorist, conspiracy theorists, cross dressing, Dave Chappelle, Dustin Hoffman, Eddie Izzard, emasculate, entertainment, Eric Idle, Guy Pearce, Hollywood, homophobia, Hugo Weaving, Illuminati, John Leguizamo, Jonathan Brandis, Marlon Wayans, Martin Lawrence, Matt Leblanc, Michael Jackson, morons, Nathan Lane, Oprah Winfrey, Patrick Swayze, Philip Seymore Hoffman, racism, Robbie Coltrane, Robin Williams, satanic rituals, Sean Wayans, Stan Laurel, Ted Levine, the Three Stooges, Tim Curry, Tom Hanks, Tyler Perry, Ving Rhames, Wesley Snipes
I was rather tired last night and decided to sit down and watch the History Channel. As is often the case when I watch a program on said station, something came up that I questioned. Thus, I grabbed my trusty laptop and began perusing the web to satisfy my ever-growing curiosity.
One thing let to another, and before I knew it, I had gotten so far off topic that I was reading an article written by a conspiracy theorist who claimed that Michael Jackson was murdered by the Illuminati. You have it right … Michael Jackson was murdered by a secret organization that was disbanded over 200 years ago, right around the time that the Church lost its power in regards to stifling scientific progress. Since the aforementioned “stifling” was the only fucking reason the Illuminati existed in the first place, their “secret society” was no longer necessary.
That being said, facts and history have never thwarted conspiracy theorists before, so why start now. They have it all figured out, after all. You see, not only does the Illuminati still exist, they are no longer in hiding due to persecution for their scientific beliefs. They have evolved. They are now a secret society of fucking racists who control everything. Which is odd, because I though the conspiracy theorists have always claimed that the Freemasons held that honor. Morons.
In said article, which had a video accompaniment along with it, the author claimed that Michael Jackson was a victim of the Illuminati. But not just in regards to his “murder.” No, it went far beyond that. They managed to put a plethora of hidden messages in his music videos that portrayed their evil intentions and satanic rituals. Did I mention the Illuminati is also a bunch of Satanists? Well, they are.
Back to their racist tendencies. According to the author, Michael Jackson was secretly drugged by the Illuminati to bleach his skin and make him white. They simply could not stand that a black man was the King of Pop. Which, again, is odd, because I believe that Michael Jackson was always referred to as “the self-proclaimed King of Pop.” I mean, I could self-proclaim anything I want, couldn’t I? I am the self-proclaimed King of the World … Bow before me. Not very effective.
Don’t get me wrong. Michael Jackson was immensely popular and gifted (and a bit off in more ways than one) but his “King of Pop” status was still a self-proclamation.
But I digress.
In truth, everything I’ve written thus far is really just a lead-in to my actual subject this time around. While following this “Michael Jackson was turned white by the Illuminati before they decided to ritualistically kill him based on the cycles of the moon” storyline, I came across another video. This one was of Dave Chappelle talking to Oprah Winfrey.
For those who don’t know, Dave Chappelle is a successful black comedian whose humor borders on offensive at times, but is more often quite clever and entertaining … even when it’s offensive. For those of you who don’t know Oprah Winfrey … Well, you’re just fucking lost then, aren’t you?
Upon seeing this video tagged alongside the Michael Jackson conspiracy articles/videos, I figured maybe Chappelle had something more to offer. Maybe some new insight into the ongoings of this secret organization of a racially charged Satanists. Granted, it was an older interview, but I hadn’t seen it and was fairly curious.
It started out with Chappelle admitting that he is a bit of a conspiracy theorist. He added that this is only to a point though. He, like myself, finds the stories to be entertaining. As the video continued, however, I discovered that this particular interview, along with his comment about conspiracies, had nothing to do with Michael Jackson and the Illuminati. Instead, he was referring to the conspiracy involving the idea that Hollywood is racist against black people.
Oh my fucking God … Not this again.
Here is a black man, who has made millions and millions of dollars in Hollywood, claiming that Hollywood is racist towards him. First off … Are you fucking kidding me? Even if this were true, who cares? I don’t give a fuck how much a group of people hates me for my skin color, my culture, my social standing, etc … If I’m making millions of dollars from them, I’ll laugh in their faces and keep right on going.
But that’s not the point, is it? Whether I would be able to handle it or not wouldn’t change the fact that it was there, right? And racism does exist. You’d be a fool to say it didn’t. You’d also be a fool to say it’s ever going to go away. People have the right to love and hate as they please. It makes them a pack of unevolved fucking imbeciles, of course, but that’s their right. So fuck them.
That being said, I was now interested in hearing why Dave Chappelle had made this comment to Oprah. What had happened to him that he now felt compelled to state before a national audience that Hollywood was racist against black people?
I was ready to hear about racist notes posted to his trailer, derogatory remarks being made in his general area, maybe even a burning cross or two. But no, that’s wasn’t it at all. Hollywood was racist against Dave Chappelle because the directors wanted him to wear a dress in a scene for a movie he was filming with Martin Lawrence.
Seriously? That’s it? A fucking dress? That’s what the Ku Klux Klan and the Aryan Nation are up to these days? Getting black men to wear dresses in the movies?
According to Chappelle, this is the case. He claims that Hollywood is always trying to get a black man in a dress, to emasculate him in one or another. I’m sorry, I’ve heard a lot of fucking nonsense in my life, but this is right there at the top. This is your conspiracy? The Racism in a Dress theory? What you’re saying is that nowhere in the entire fucking history of Hollywood pictures has any man been asked to wear a dress for a role in a film unless said man was black? And when this occurred, it was not because the plot of the movie actually called for such a scene, it was only to emasculate the actor and let him know that Hollywood hates black people? That’s what you’re saying? Seriously? Have you actually said this out loud to yourself and heard how fucking ridiculous it sounds?
Just for kicks, I decided to do a little bit of research. And I do mean a little. It seriously took all of about three minutes to come up with the following info. So, alas, here is a list of actors who have worn a dress in a movie … and are not black.
- Tom Hanks
- Tim Curry
- Dustin Hoffman
- Patrick Swayze
- Robin Williams
- Adam Sandler
- Hugo Weaving
- Guy Pearce
- John Leguizamo
- Charlie Chaplin
- Stan Laurel
- Every member of the Three Stooges
- Eric Idle
- Robbie Coltrane
- Ted Levine
- Jonathan Brandis
- Nathan Lane
- Philip Seymore Hoffman
- Matt Leblanc
- Eddie Izzard
Here’s another list. This one indicates black men who have dressed like women in a role where it was integral to the movie and/or character.
- Ving Rhames in Holiday Heart: Rhames plays a gay drag queen who performs at a night club.
- Wesley Snipes in Too Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything …: Snipes plays a drag queen who, along with traveling companions, Patrick Swayze and John Leguizamo (also drag queens) helps people in a small town after their Cadillac breaks down on the way to Los Angeles.
- Martin Lawrence in Big Mama’s House: Yes, this was slapstick humor, but that’s what the movie was about … A man dressed like a fat woman.
- Tyler Perry in Diary of a Mad Black Woman and the sequels/spinoffs: Perry plays Madea (Mabel Simmon) who is both comic relief as well as the title character in various installments. Of note, Perry has used this to become one of the highest paid entertainers in Hollywood.
- Sean and Marlon Wayans in White Chicks: Again, this was for humor, but was the entire fucking point of the movie.
Again, this list was put together in about three minutes. I’m sure if I put some serious research into it, I could find a slew of other black actors who have been made to wear a dress in a role that was important to the movie and/or character.
Oddly enough, the saddest part about the entire fucking interview wasn’t hearing Chappelle going on and on about the terrible treatment of black men in Hollywood being forced to wear a dress in a role for a movie. No, it was the fact that as he was explaining this plight, Oprah was staring back at him with that cookie-cutter expression of concern and sympathy that you would normally see when someone is listening to a person describe a rape, murder, brutal attack, or any other instance that is actually traumatic. I honestly thought she was going to shed a tear for dramatic effect. After all, Oprah is all about good television, isn’t she? So what if the subject is ridiculous, if we can get a shot of a tear streaming down her cheek, that equates to dollar signs.
I was disappointed to say the least. I never cared much for Oprah and her condescending mannerisms. Dave Chappelle, on the other hand, I had a great deal of respect for. He appeared to a man who loved his craft more than money and was willing to walk away from it all if he was not allowed to perform the way he wished to perform. Oh well … I guess everyone has their flaws.
Hollywood is fucking racist because they asked a black men to wear a dress for scene? Maybe it’s just me, but I think that statement says a lot more about a person’s homophobia than an industry’s racism.
Until next time … Fuck off